A doe eyed creation stared back in disbelief

Always it seems. I come again to a point where I feel stupid, used and naive. I feel again that I have failed and come to the end of what I know, come to the end of faith, broken a thousand promises that I have made to myself. I have said too much, and I have not said enough. I have prayed too little and not listened enough. I assumed too much and not given enough. I have judged too many people and not forgiven enough. I have repeated lies and not spoken the truth loud enough. I have accepted too many things and how numb my heart feels. I have snapped too much and not been silent enough. I have replaced time for Him with time for me. I am falling into a violent strange ocean that I do not recognize. What will the sky show if I surface the grey waves? Dark skies surround. I am at the end of what I can do.