Space

space and silence outside
create calm and order inside

sit beside the seaside outside
the same sounds collide inside

curious happiness implied outside
useless tears forever dried inside

watch soft sunlight glide outside
feel the courage confide inside

pitterpatter on the window sill

the God of heaven and earth has come near
grace, glory, and beauty, He has made clear
by the light of His face I make my place
and delight in His presence as I run the race

in anything and everything, there is no such thing as perfection

Cities from a distance seem so shiny and perfect, all of the glory of millions of people's work. 

Glorious and perfect, until I walk in the gutter and look down at my shoes.

Then I realize there is trash by the flowers, and gates to keep us out.

the perfection of a picture

i can sob, draw a breath, turn around, take a picture

but still it's there, just a moment, just a second, only frozen time.

precious picture, stolen memory, perfect mixture.

baby sister.

A doe eyed creation stared back in disbelief

Always it seems. I come again to a point where I feel stupid, used and naive. I feel again that I have failed and come to the end of what I know, come to the end of faith, broken a thousand promises that I have made to myself. I have said too much, and I have not said enough. I have prayed too little and not listened enough. I assumed too much and not given enough. I have judged too many people and not forgiven enough. I have repeated lies and not spoken the truth loud enough. I have accepted too many things and how numb my heart feels. I have snapped too much and not been silent enough. I have replaced time for Him with time for me. I am falling into a violent strange ocean that I do not recognize. What will the sky show if I surface the grey waves? Dark skies surround. I am at the end of what I can do.

oh the fear of numbness.

oh the terror of walking alone
and please don't follow whatever i've shown
and remember, i'm not over my head
and just watch the ways that i've led
and we all go home to bed